Monday, February 1, 2010
This is a more 'Dear Diary' style post. Financially I've been struggling for a long time now, with a couple months here and there offering relief and breaking even. I'm not dumb with my money; rather, I've been quite smart about it in the past year or so, especially the last six months. I'm just not making enough. It's too expensive to live in this city. It's too hard to succeed. Job hunting constantly sucks. I'm under-employed. The first half of this months looks really good work-hours wise, especially with the opening of BonChaz downtown where I will be working. All the same though, when I get down like this, and I'm feeling fairly low right now, I start to question choices I have made, things I have and have not done, opportunities that I have let go by me, maybe not. Thus, still being awake at 1:45am. I'm writing this in the hopes that I will feel better once I've got it all out on cyber-paper. It's too much work, this thing we call life. I won't say if only it could be easier, because life at its core is a challenge and I am grateful to be alive with all the love that is in my life. But, I do wish sometimes that it could be easier, nonetheless.